The eight people at every Nepali picnic

They are always the same eight, regardless of who was invited.

1. The one with the speaker. Arrived first. Has a plan for the day and a playlist. Will be ignored on both counts.
2. The cook. Does ninety per cent of the work, refuses all help, complains about the lack of help.
3. The assistant to the cook. Chops one onion. Describes themselves, later, as having cooked.
4. The photographer. Has taken four hundred pictures. None are of the food, which is the only thing anyone wanted a picture of.
5. The one who went to look at the river and has not been seen since.
6. The sleeper. Found a flat rock within twenty minutes. Achieved the actual goal of the picnic.
7. The volleyball organiser. Will get a game going. It will last six minutes.
8. The one who brought nothing and eats the most, and is somehow still the most popular person there.