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Nine things that happen at every Nepali wedding
- The card says eleven. Nothing whatsoever happens until two.
- Somebody you have never met photographs you, and it becomes a family heirloom.
- There is a queue for the stage. Nobody can establish where it begins.
- An uncle asks what you do, is delighted by the answer, and asks again twenty minutes later because he would like to hear it a second time.
- The food is genuinely excellent and you eat it standing up, holding a plate, a glass and a phone with two hands.
- Someone’s small child is asleep across four stacked chairs, and will not be moved.
- The music is loud enough that every conversation becomes the same four sentences, shouted.
- A relative asks when your turn is. You are eleven years old.
- It ends. Three hours later, it ends again.