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Nine things that happen at every Nepali wedding

The card says eleven. Nothing whatsoever happens until two. Somebody you have never met photographs you, and it becomes a family heirloom. There is a queue for the stage. Nobody can establish where it begins. An uncle asks what you do, is delighted by the answer, and asks again twenty minutes later because he would […]

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The seven stages of asking a shopkeeper for change

You hand over a thousand-rupee note for a forty-rupee item. The shopkeeper looks at the note. Then at you. Then back at the note. “Sano chaina?” Nothing smaller? You conduct a full and public search of a wallet whose contents you already know. He opens a drawer whose contents he also already knows. Hope is […]

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Every excuse for being late in Kathmandu, ranked

Ranked by how much anyone believes it. Traffic. Believed completely. Requires no supporting detail and never has. The road was dug up. Believed instantly, and permanently — it usually still is. I got stuck at the bank. Believed, and generates sympathy, which is more than the others manage. My bike had a puncture. Believed roughly […]